Another week has passed. Tempus Fugit (time flies). Last night I found myself walking towards the bench underneath the cathedral again. Without thinking I had gone to it. Somewhere along the way I remembered sitting there last week. Told you, I'd sit there again. But this time, I didn't write anything. I just contemplated the week that had passed. The strangeness of it all.
Monday was an odd day. After work, the loss from the past came in while I was sitting in the club. Just walked there, ignored me like I was air. It hurt like hell. And then everything came back. In a split second, I managed to relive every moment and emotion since november 30 2005. I left what I was doing, and went home. Started obsessed cleaning, music, reading things online, singing along to songs. But my appartment felt empty. Then I knew what was wrong. Like I wrote in Sleeping Angel. Home isn't home. And I ran into one person that used to give me that feeling of being home. I knew what to do. Cellphones are wonderful things, because with a few presses you can contact angels if you know them. Which I did. She couldn't come untill late that night. Patiently, I lived towards the late hour. Just went to people in order to be busy all evening untill she'd come. They didn't notice I felt like crap.
By half past eleven, she came in my appartment. And I was home again. Home is that place where you can be yourself. So I became myself, and told her what had happened. She knew what to do as well. Comforting wings of friendship around my weary body. Warmth of feathers. I needed that. She wouldn't go untill I slept. She stayed untill I started fading away between reality and dreams. Half awake I told her a few times to go. She wouldn't, untill I asked four times.
"Go home, before I ask you to stay."
"Would you want that?" she asked.
"Of course I would, but just go now." She took her keys and left. I finally slept. For the first time in ages, I slept good.

Ever since then, I haven't been able to take my mind of this. What a good friend can do for you, is amazing. This scene, would also be perfect for the novel I've been thinking about ever since I wrote "Sent Angels that have forgotten". I think I'll use it, with the details that I've not given here. Lately, I've just been experiencing things I can perfectly use for this novel (Drowned Angels). Such beautiful moments make a novel just a pleasure to both write and read. Since I seem not to find catharsis in life, I still have to find a way to provide it myself. Drowned Angels will be that catharsis. I just need to start it soon.

The rest of the week was rather calm. Just work, and things after work. Running into the past again on tuesday. But facing it and not running away this time. My angel said I should talk to my past. But I doubt the past would either do, or want that.

Friday night is when things got weird again. I went to a gothic party in Leuven, and met an old friend again whom I refound a month ago. We hadn't seen each other in almost ten years. One month ago, we had spent all night chatting and laughing. She even drove me home, and we had breakfast in "Het Borrelhuis". Was a wonderful night and morning that time. This time, she told me something odd. That ten years ago, she used to look at me, and have a feeling of being home. Struck me as odd, that she'd say that. Another mutual friend that was with us, told me I just have that effect on people. I make them feel at home. Weird how I can have that effect on many people, but only one person has it on me. Guess I'm quite the picky person. Still, it felt nice hearing someone say that.
Sometimes, my life is just one big story. And despite feeling like crap sometimes, being in a story, is great.

On the funnier side of life :
In Leuven I heard a song I hadn't heard in ages either. For those of you who dare to listen to songs with politically total incorrect intros I present to you ;
"Gelobnis" by P.A.L.
Took me two days to find it and download it. Yes, downloading is piracy, but it's not my bloody fault you can't buy this stuff anywhere. Far too underground. Be warned, this song is is kinda industrial-noise-electro-goth-watherever category.

On the competitive side of life :
We have the regional Championship of Call of Cthulhu coming up as well. I plan to go visit those in The Netherlands and Germany as well. That gives me three shots at a trophy like last year. I like trophies. They be shiny. Shiny things be nice. I'll keep you updated.