So after two months I finally manage to take some time and update DA a bit. Not that I have anything to update apart from a journal. Maybe I should consider journals as an art. Right, anyway.
Two months of therapy have passed, and I have learned a lot about the human psyche as well as myself. The end conclusion was most interesting though. During my last weeks, I Had asked for a thourough evaluation of my psychological self. So I got to do some fun tests, such as the Rorsach-test (that's the one where they show you ink-stains and ask what you see in them), a lengthy Yes-No test with 567 questions, etc. And so we found I have a form of a bipolair disorder, type II, which is similair to manic-depression. I remember the psychologue telling me this very gently, as if she was afraid she'd insult me. But I was relieved. Finally I knew what was going wrong all these years, and that it's just something I couldn't help for most part. I felt almost redeemed in the dys after I had gotten the news. It suddenly made more sense, all these things that went wrong and that I couldn't fix. I wasn't the problem, it was (and is) my disease. Because that's what it is, a disease (not contageous, don't worry). It's something I can't help, but I have to live with, and learn to control through various little things that are obvious to other people, but not to me. I was able to let a few things that have been bothering me, go now. Pain subsided, thoughts and memories became just that, and it was as if the sun broke through a rainy day. The enemy within has a name now. Which makes it a lot easier to send hatemail (I kid I kid).

More news, I got a new girlfriend, and she has a page on DA. Gogo visit Lienemien. Now, k tnx. µ

Note to self: journals getting shorter. Must change!